hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
