can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
