now i know why i became what i already was.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
