I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
