And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
