I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
