I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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