I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
