I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
