wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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