SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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