i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
