I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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