I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
