Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
