Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
