dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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