I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
