how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's just like the Real World with babies
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
