shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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