it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
