I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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