Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
