Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
