the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
please come you make the beer taste better
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
