And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
