38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
