the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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