dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
