It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Alive.
So much puke
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
