so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
