When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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