Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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