She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
