About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
