Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
