I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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