omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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