im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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