I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
