they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
