i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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