Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
