It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
