can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
