Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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