does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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