considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
wow bdsm is so cute
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
