I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
