You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
