i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
